Twerkberry Street
I have to trust in God and hope for the best I guess

today at clinical i toured a new community health facility. i was amazed with how big it was—it had dental, womens health, family practice, a lab and pharmacy, preventative medicine, a room for exercise classes, a demo kitchen to teach healthy cooking. It was amazing. and the work they were doing there seemed good too, giving quality, low-cost care those who didnt have insurance.

the woman who gave me the tour asked how much longer i had in nursing school, and when i told her i graduated in may, she told me that i should keep my eye out for job openings there because they were gonna hire a lot of nurses, and to email her if i did apply.

i thought it was really nice of her to tell me that, at first i was happy. but then it hit me. in may, the real world starts. i’ll likely have to move retty far to get a job as a nurse with no experience. 

I have always dreaded this idea, but i figured that i could probably make some kind of adventure out of whereever i ended up.

Now I’m scared. Terrified. 

Not becasue of the distance form everyone and everything ive ever known, or the crzy culture shock that comes from going from the bay area to pretty much anywhere else in the world, not because of the possibility of not making it—those things will all hit me later im sure.

What about me and Matt? He said he would go with me where i went, but i know i cant really expect that depending on where i would end up. 

im just terrified of having to chose between the love of my life and chasing the dream that i have worked so hard for. and you can sit and say that if we loved each other we would find a way…but the unfortunate truth is that some people are meant to fall in love but not meant to be together. I think its the cruelest thing.

What is meant to be will be when its all said and done, But i hope more than almost anything that we are meant to be together.

by-grace-of-god:

St. Padre Pio’s Prayer after Holy Communion:
Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You. You know how easily I abandon You.
Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength, that I may not fall so often.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life, and without You, I am without fervor.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light, and without You, I am in darkness.
Stay with me, Lord, to show me Your will.
Stay with me, Lord, so that I hear Your voice and follow You.
Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love You very much, and always be in Your company.
Stay with me, Lord, if You wish me to be faithful to You.
Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is, I wish it to be a place of consolation for You, a nest of Love.
Stay with me, Jesus, for it is getting late and the day is coming to a close, and life passes, death, judgement, eternity approaches. It is necessary to renew my strength, so that I will not stop along the way and for that, I need You. It is getting late and death approaches. I fear the darkness, the temptations, the dryness, the cross, the sorrows. O how I need You, my Jesus, in this night of exile!  Stay with me tonight, Jesus, in life with all its dangers, I need You.
Let me recognize You as Your disciples did at the breaking of bread, so that the Eucharistic Communion be the light which disperses the darkness, the force which sustains me, the unique joy of my heart.
Stay with me, Lord, because at the hour of my death, I want to remain united to You, if not by Communion, at least by grace and love.
Stay with me, Jesus, I do not ask for divine consolation, because I do not merit it, but, the gift of Your Presence, oh yes, I ask this of You!
Stay with me, Lord, for it is You alone I look for. Your Love, Your Grace, Your Will, Your Heart, Your Spirit, because I love You and ask no other reward but to love You more and more.
With a firm love, I will love You with all my heart while on earth and continue to love You perfectly during all eternity.
Amen

by-grace-of-god:

St. Padre Pio’s Prayer after Holy Communion:

Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You. You know how easily I abandon You.

Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength, that I may not fall so often.

Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life, and without You, I am without fervor.

Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light, and without You, I am in darkness.

Stay with me, Lord, to show me Your will.

Stay with me, Lord, so that I hear Your voice and follow You.

Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love You very much, and always be in Your company.

Stay with me, Lord, if You wish me to be faithful to You.

Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is, I wish it to be a place of consolation for You, a nest of Love.

Stay with me, Jesus, for it is getting late and the day is coming to a close, and life passes, death, judgement, eternity approaches. It is necessary to renew my strength, so that I will not stop along the way and for that, I need You. It is getting late and death approaches. I fear the darkness, the temptations, the dryness, the cross, the sorrows. O how I need You, my Jesus, in this night of exile!  Stay with me tonight, Jesus, in life with all its dangers, I need You.

Let me recognize You as Your disciples did at the breaking of bread, so that the Eucharistic Communion be the light which disperses the darkness, the force which sustains me, the unique joy of my heart.

Stay with me, Lord, because at the hour of my death, I want to remain united to You, if not by Communion, at least by grace and love.

Stay with me, Jesus, I do not ask for divine consolation, because I do not merit it, but, the gift of Your Presence, oh yes, I ask this of You!

Stay with me, Lord, for it is You alone I look for. Your Love, Your Grace, Your Will, Your Heart, Your Spirit, because I love You and ask no other reward but to love You more and more.

With a firm love, I will love You with all my heart while on earth and continue to love You perfectly during all eternity.

Amen

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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
Thich Nhat Hanh (via psych-facts)
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If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, i’ll stay there forever.
Winnie The Pooh (via psych-facts)